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The 2015 Patsy Ratings - Bucknell's Class of 2019

The businesswoman who looked suspiciously like Nicki Minaj broke out the pink champale, something that made Art very angry.

"What the eff... are you doing?" he angrily asked.

"Aren't we done?" she said, almost levitating off the ground.

"NO!" Art said.  "There are two teams left to do.  I know these have been a grind - and it's taken us an unnaturally long time to do these - but there's really only two left."

Art looked at the spreadsheets again, his eyes uncomfortably glancing at the bottom drawer where he knew the Corvousier was kept.

"Two more," he said as much to himself as he did the businesswoman with the champale.  "Two more, then we can get to our summer plans."

The businesswoman sighed.   "Bucknell," she said.

"Yes, Bucknell," Art said.  "The surprise of 2014, the team that was one play away from knocking off the eventual champions.  While they won't be anyone's surprise team in 2015, what is a bit of a surprise is their overall Patsy Rating.  It's been their best in a while.  A... LONG... while."

Art saw stars in this Bucknell class - as in, lots and lots and lots of them.  "In this upper-echelon classes," he noted, " we see a lot of star quality - specifically, lots of recruits with stars next to their profiles.  If that's all we did here at the Committee offices, the Galloping Burgers would have easily taken the top Patsy rating this time around.  Though they weren't the absolute top, they still had nine starred guys..."

"But..." the businsesswoman anticipated...

" is worth mentioning that seven of those starred players were ranked ** by the same website," Art meloncholically continued.  "It won't affect the Patsy Point rankings - indeed, it's still an impressive bunch judged by the number of starred athletes - but I do wonder about that aspect of it."

"Come on, man," the businesswoman added, "how can you say that?  The system has a built-in safeguard to this - confirming recruits by giving them extra Patsy Points.  Even you have to admit that even with 'unconfirmed' starred guys, they're still starred guys.  That counts for a lot."

Art remained silent.

Bucknell needs more guys like this... a LOT more
Art cleared his throat.  "The Stampeding Ones seem to be consistently choosing to ignore one of the cornerstones of the Patsy points - meeting of needs.  If you judge the quality of the class as 'very good' - as I begrudgingly do - the fact that the meeting of needs, as voted on by Bucknellians, was not a home run with this much quality has to be met with a raised eyebrow.  In fact, there's some evidence that the Committee was a bit generous with the meeting of needs because of the starred recruits."

The businesswoman rolled her eyes.

"Needs are needs for a reason," Art continued.  "If the fans say that offensive line is an area of need, and the coaching staff only gets three guys, is that enough?  As I've said before about the Stampeders, offensive line is the area on the team that almost requires extra bodies every year.  Getting two great starred recruits is a great starting point.  But it's not enough.  You need extra depth there."

Art continued.  "It may not end up harming the Bison.  Perhaps these guys will all become all-League, play every regular-season game, and think about NFL careers after getting their degrees.  But that's unlikely.  Kids get hurt.  Things happen.  And if it does, where will this leave the Bison's O line?"

"You seem overly preoccupied with Bucknell's offensive line," the businesswoman noted.

I Pledge To Keep Getting High Patsy-Point Classes at Bucknell
QUALITY = 55.  "Nine guys were ranked 2* or better," Art noted, "which is a fantastic number.  In fact, the eyeball test of this class really passes.  When scholarships became a reality in this Patriot League, this is what I had in mind - lots of star power, the occasional 3* guy, and 14/21 guys giving some quality points.  Despite my mild concern that most of the stars come from one service, Joe Susan deserves the accolades in getting an incoming class like this.  In fact, all the schools of the Patriot League should be expecting classes like this.

CLASS SIZE = 3.  Not a huge point-getter for the Bison, but at least points were obtained here by exceeding the minimum number for "replacement".

DISTRIBUTION = 9.  The class nonetheless covered all possible position groups to qualify for the maximum number of points here.

SPEED = 5.  Art and the businesswoman did note that the number of speed points seemed a bit on the low side for a class with this many Patsy points.  "Speed points are notoriously unpredictable," Art did note, "and at least in this class it's spread across several different players."

TRIGGER = 3.  There was only one QB in this recruiting class, but at 3*, with multiple scouting services putting him at that rating, he yielded a good number of extra Patsy points.  "That's what's really good about this class, I think," the businesswoman said.  "This class is getting points everywhere, a few here, a few there.  It adds up."

JUMBO = 3.   Art frowned again.  "Except here," he grumbled.  "Six players could have qualified for Jumbo points, but only three did so.  And here's where an extra 300 lb OL recruit would have really helped put this class over the top - and given this class that extra bit of added depth.

Where Did Art Get Those Square Plates?
NEEDS = 7 (of 12):  With his chef's hat on, Art didn't say much during the conference call, busy scarfing down a delicious dinner.

"Where did you get those square plates and those steel ketchup containers?" the businesswoman asked.

"Don't ask - and don't ask where I got the Portuguese flatbread and the onion rings, either."

OL = 3 (of 5).  "We agree with you," one stern voice said on the phone.  "Three OL - even with two of them starred, and two of them Jumbo - it's not enough to meet this need.  Five guys, not even fog-a-mirror guys, would have met the needs for the Bison."

"That reminds me - did you get your complimentary peanuts?" Art asked.

"Yes," the stern voice responded, "but I'm still waiting for the shakes."

LB = 1 (of 4).   "It was very tempting to go with zero points here," a second Committee member announced.  "One LB, and not even a starred guy.  In an area of need, especially another that needs a lot of depth, this is not good news."

"We went back and forth on this," the member continued, "but the Committee begrudgingly went with one point here, with the idea that maybe, just maybe, one of the defensive ends might be able to meet this need.  No matter how you slice it, though, it's a disappointment.  In past years, this might have merited zero points and a negative adjustment."

TE = 3 (of 3).  "TE was perfectly met," everyone agreed.  "Two recruits, both starred guys."

"Put Down the Red Pen, Art!"

The businesswoman knew that look; it meant Art was getting his red pen out, getting ready for a negative adjustment.

"Look," the businesswoman said.  "You've said you piece on your questioning of Bucknell's strategy of going after the best available athletes instead of meeting fan-based need areas.  You've also vented on the fact that most of the points are coming from one specific service - all good points.

"But you said it yourself - this looks like a Patriot League type of class that all the schools should be expecting, with lots of star players.  Some needs have been met very well.  A 3* star QB - that's an excellent haul - especially since, in years past, the Bison haven't been top Patsy performers.

"I'm not arguing that this class should get bonus points.  I'm simply saying that it's graded exactly right.  No adjustment.  This class shouldn't get a negative adjustment for lack of offensive linemen - it's not like they had just one lineman in this class.  They had some starred guys.  It's not like they have nobody that can play linebacker.  They have some.  They have enough.

"Please, Art.  This squad is rated just right."

Art put the red pen down.

"Let's eat," he said.




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