Explaining the Patsy Ratings

In this post, I figured I'd create the complete definition of the Patsy Ratings, which are scheduled to be released any minute now.

What are the Patsy Ratings, you ask?
The Patsy Ratings are the methodology Lafayette superfan Carney once created in an attempt to determine who had the "best" incoming class.

In his words:

"At the outset let me say that this is one big heap of crapola. If anyone thinks that he or she can rate 18 and 19 year old high school football players or declare one group of these kids superior to another is delusional. This, however, is an attempt to do just that, so what does it say about me? Many of you will take issue with the methodology or will rail against the outcome because you “know” that [fill in the name of your favorite school] had its best recruiting year ever. I invite you to post your criticism. Even more, I invite you to give us something better. It’s easy to say “you’re wrong.” It is much more difficult to find a better way and actually create the results."

It was Carney that first got the mysterious Committee together, to agree on the common system that is the Patsy Ratings.  In my reading of it, the Committee came up with this rules in an old, walnut wood-adorned conference room.  You could smell the cigar smoke as you take the original rules out of the desk in the corner.

The paper is very difficult to read, with many sentences crossed out and redacted with black ink.  Scrawls saying "Scout?  Yes" and "Long snapper doesn't count" and "Schollies!!!!" appear, sometimes with little star stickers on the parts that were particularly contentious.

Deciphering these scrolls of (some might say) wisdom resulted in this definition below of what the Patsy Ratings are.  The best part of this system is that it is reproducible - though there are a few subjective pieces, most of the Rating can be recalculated at home.


Here's the way it's done:

Quality: Points given by a recruit's presence in the commonly known ratings agencies and their star ratings (if any).  Four ratings websites are used, 247sports, Rivals, Scout, and ESPN.  All four are distinct and use different, mysterious methods to come up with their own ratings, the key here being distinct.  More stars are better, and multiple agencies awarding stars mean more Quality points.

Class Size: The larger an incoming class, the more points this generates.  A recruiting class of 18 is considered enough to replace the considered "minimum" football roster size of 72.  Anything less, and fielding a team is a challenge.  Two points are awarded for having an incoming class of 18, plus 1 additional point for up to every three recruits after that.

Example:  Horse Feathers U. has an incoming class of 22 recruits.  They would receive 2 points for the first 18 recruits, 1 for the next 3 recruits, plus 1 for the last recruit.  2+1+1 = 4.

Distribution: The more positions covered by the class, the more Distribution points a class will get.  Every year, a broad number of positions will almost certainly need to be replenished.  One point if awarded for each position "covered", up to a maximum of 9.  (Fullbacks are counted as running backs, and long snappers and "athletes" don't count here.)

Example: Horse Feathers U. has a QB, OL, RB, TE, WR, DB and LB in their incoming class.  They would get 7 distribution points (and they'd be missing out on 1 point for DL, and 1 point for a kicker).

Speed: "Speed in an incoming class, for lack of a better word. is good," are words that Gordon Gekko may or may not have uttered.  Using the meager data that is out there, players meeting a certain speed threshold posted on an official recruiting website get Speed points awarded.  It's not enough to go to a recruit's MySpace page where he brags of running a 4.1 40 yard dash: it needs to be verified from a trusted source (or, at least, as "trusted" a source we can get on the internet).

Example: Horse Feathers U. has one recruit that has a posted 40 yard dash time of 4.67.  That posted time is good for 2 Patsy Points.

Trigger:  Acknowledging that the most important position on the field in college football - and especially in the Patriot League - is almost always the quarterback, more Patsy points are offered for more Patsy point quarterbacks in the incoming class, and even more points if they are star rated.

Example: Horse Feathers U. has one QB in the incoming class that is a ** recruit from Saskatchewan High School.  They receive 1 trigger point for him being listed on a scouting website, plus one point for each star of his ranking, making a grand total of 3.

No Jumbo Points for You

Jumbo: Like recruiting players with speed, one of the measurable attributes for linemen is size.  Players, more specifically offensive and defensive linemen, meeting a certain "size requirement" give extra points.  250 lbs for defensive linemen, 275 lbs for offensive linemen.

Needs: Needs for each recruiting class have been determined by a cherry-picked panel of school "superfans" who have a long-term view of the overall needs of a particular year's recruiting class.  These are ranked first (max of 5 points), second (max of four points) and third (max of 3 points).

Committee Adjustment:  an adjustment to the Patsy ratings which could be a minor adjustment if the "look and smell" test seems to misrepresent the actual overall quality of the class.  (This is intended to be done sparingly - but it seems to often turn out that multiple schools require at least some small adjustment every year.  The hope is eventually the need for such adjustments is zero.)