She ran to the door, and saw a basket with two spotted creatures. She couldn't help but stifle an "Aw!" as, for a moment, her heart, hardened by hours or work on the Patsy ratings, melted.
"Oh great," another Committee member said. "More strays. Should we print out more flyers to see who might adopt them?"
"More worryingly," another Member said, "is this an attempt to try to impugn the sanctity of the Patsy Ratings? Could this be an attempt to bribe the Committee by offering them some cute Leopard cubs?"
The Committee member looked back at the Member quizzically. "Since when did the Patsy Ratings have sanctitiy?" they asked seriously.
"Look, they're playing!" she said.
|Leopard Jumbo Points Galore|
Had one of the Eastonians' quarterbacks been listed as a ** or *** player, the Leopards might have easily captured the Patsy Point title this season. But the truth is, they did not. As a result, their Patsy Point total, rather than achieving one that could rival the heights of 2014, merely finished at No. 2 in a year where the overall totals are shockingly lower than the prior two years.
CLASS SIZE: 5. Head coach Frank Tavani needed a lot of numbers to bring up the roster, and got them. A hefty-sized class of 25 gave the Leopards 5 class size points.
Less than half of the incoming Leopards (11/25) generated any Patsy points, and two heavily-starred recruits were the source of most of Lafayette's Patsy Points. (Again, the Committee thought about simply cut-and-pasting the last three quality point analyses here.)
DISTRIBUTION: 7. All positions, except for kicker and TE, were covered. As per accordance of the official Patsy rules, the recruit listed as RB/TE was counted as a RB, or the first-listed position.
1. OL: 4 (out of 5). Overall, the Committee thought that Lafayette did a great job delivering the depth and quality they needed, with the five Jumbo lineman and a starred recruit. The only thing keeping this from being perfect was the presence of one more recruit that is recognized by the services. But the Committee thought they did very well with this need.
|Pretty Sure This Explains The Pepsi|
"QB is the most important job on the field," one irascible Committee member said. "If this is a NEED area, the Leopards NEEDED to at least get a starred player in this spot. One unstarred guy isn't enough to meet this need."
"Nonetheless," another tall, thin Committee member said, "the Leopards DID recruit two QBs, which should be enough for a point, or maybe even two. Doesn't zero points seem overly harsh to you?"
After a contentious 4-4 deadlock, one Committee member was bribed with a bottle of Pepsi, putting her in the "zero point" camp. The final result was potential cavities and zero points in this need area.
3. DL: 2 (out of 3). Defensive line, also a big need area, was also fairly well met by the incoming class, with a heavily-starred player providing quality. Another rated player probably would have been enough to get the full amount of points.
|Four Quatloos on no adjustment! HSSSSSSS|
Ultimately, the computer melted down due to being unable to solve the Committee's logic, so no adjustments were made. (Perhaps it was due to bad computer design, set design, or possibly both.)
The Ratings (With 1 To Go):
COLGATE - 57
BUCKNELL - 53
LAFAYETTE - 50
HOLY CROSS - 49
GEORGETOWN - 37
FORDHAM - 34