Thursday, February 25, 2016

The 2016 Patsy Ratings: No. 3 - Bucknell

"Pass me some more Buffalo wings," one Committee member said to another.

"You're going to get wing sauce all over these folders," another said.  "Buffalo wings and Patsy point calculation don't exactly go together."

"Don't judge me," the member said, a bit more sourly this time.  "I just work differently than you.  I need protein when I compute the Patsies.  Just because you're a Vegan don't tell me how to do things."

"I'm not judging," the Vegan member said, munching on her kale chips.  "I'm simply saying not everyone likes to smell Buffalo wing sauce permeating the folders.  That's something I think we all can agree on.

"Mmmph," was all the other red-eyed Committee member could muster, his mouth full of Buffalo wings, blue cheese sauce, and celery.

The Vegan looked quzzically, until she saw a third member holding up a half-empty bottle of "Third Street Chicken and Ribs - Nuclear Sauce" behind him.

Monday, February 22, 2016

The 2016 Patsy Ratings: No. 2 - Colgate

The office seemed a lot lighter than it once was.  A committee member looked around, and saw the regular piles of computer printouts, spilled fax ink, and opened folders.  Only a radio blaring Extreme's "More than Words" could be heard.

"Where are they," he wondered?  "This had better not be another audit."

Looking outside, he saw the Committee members outside.  There was a new food truck there.  Curious, he went out to see.

"I'll have a three-pack of fish tacos with crema," he asked the food truck operator.

He enjoyed the tacos and stopped in the men's room to check his teeth.  Green things in there.  Good thing he remembered to bring his toothbrush.

"That reminds me," he thought.

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