Thursday, February 11, 2016

The 2016 Patsy Ratings: No. 6 - Georgetown

"What are you doing?" a Committee member said.

Another Committee member was crying in front of the TV.

"Take out that tape and get yourself together," she said, directing the member to eject the final Syracuse/Georgetown Big East semifinal game played in 2014.

"I'm sorry," he said, "Requiem for the Big East does it to me every time.  Dave Gavitt.  John Thompson."

"You know you have a job to do, right?", the irritated Committee member reminded him.  "There's that, oh, I don't know, matter of the current state of Georgetown's Patsy Point recruiting class?  A real, live team in a real, live conference?  That exists in the present?"

The Committee member blew his nose.  "Oh, that's already done.  Check the file next to the fax machine.  It's ready.

He pops the tape into the machine again, and presses play.  The tears well up once again.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

The 2016 Patsy Ratings: No. 7 - Fordham

"We missed the news cycle again," a committee member said again.

"Huh?" another said, awakening from a long afternoon nap.

"We missed the recruiting news cycle," the member repeated, a but more irritated this time.  "There's a very small window where people care about football recruiting - the 72 hours after National Letter of Intent Day.  After that, you might as well be writing about the 2002 midterm elections."

"Is that really true?" sleepy guy said.  "Patriot League people tend to have a bit longer attention span than that.  They appreciate - or at least get vocal about - the ratings whenever they come out.  After all, in the old days, there sometimes was months between classes."

"But that's not true anymore," irritated guys said.  "Now, the Patriot League are all announcing their classes on NLI day.  They're a part of the crazy skydiving-recruit announcing, hat-switching player circus that is national signing day."

"Well," sleepy guy said, "they're done now.  For us, this is some sort of record, having them all done this early.  It took a lot of sleepless nights, but they're done now."

"Let's get this done before we miss any more news cycles," irritated guy responded.
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